Last summer quarter has to be the craziest ever....3 nights at Ayesha’s, and all we do is sit in front of a pc dissecting claims, evidence and arguments. Having teaspoons of coffee shoved into my mouth. Emptying Ash’s fridge with Sara. Being up for days on end. Wearing a nightshirt to LUMS. Hysterical laughter fits in lab4. And Bam’s tough love for all! Haha...*sheesh* The dude totally surprises me, you never know what’s going on in his head. And to think I was running around frantically trying to drop this course. There’s a hint of sweetness in the bitterest of chocolates. You sometimes need to be a just little more patient.

All I’ve been doing all summer vacations is fulfill my desires of couch-potatoe-ing endlessly hours on end. Bed to sofa, sofa to bed. I thought I had seen all low budget movies that had ever been made aired on HBO and star movies. However apparently I was wrong.... Going to head for Islamabad for my internship in a couple of days. I’m so excited! I hope we get exactly the kind of work we’re looking for. Lots and lots of it! N its real fun! Eww.. I’m beginning to sound like a bloody workaholic lol..

I hate being sick. I hate being dependant upon someone. Oh and I certainly hate waking up finding myself lying on the bathroom floor! Hahah... I know it’s a weird thought but its an oddly interesting feeling. You’re vision becomes blurry, your senses slowly retrieve and you cant feel anything, no pain no nothing, you can hear a little but you really don’t give a fuck, and the next thing you know your on the ground, and its slowly all coming back. Not that I enjoy it. Allah mian please I so don’t want more lol. Just wierdly fascinated by the dizziness I suppose. I wonder if that’s how you feel when you’re drugged hmm.. My mom’s such a sweetheart :) ..I wish I was less trouble haha.. we’re all such a handful.

I love the weather! Its been raining a lot.. The patter of rain drops. How they form crystals on your eyelashes. The exhilarating smell of moist mud. Trees washed out with various shades of green rejoicing belongingness to the soil they feed off. Jumping in dirty puddles with Hashim and Birjees. Swooshing down a wet slide screaming and struggling to hang on to the sides to keep from falling into the pool of kicharr, within which Hashim awaits with an evil naughty smirk. Birjees’s yummy chocolate chip pancakes!

Its kind of scary being 21. I’ve almost always had my life perfectly figured out, if not too much at least a year ahead. But right now I stand in the field, with the wind in my face, and a sun so blinding I can barely see what’s ahead. It’s distressing as is obvious. However oddly exciting also. There was a time when I would always look five years ahead before taking a step. I've played safe too long now. I don’t want wrinkles under my eyes next time I look at myself in the mirror and ask what if you had? .. It’s ok to take risks. Well calculated, smart risks. But risks nonetheless. The magic ball doesn’t always work. The future is really unseen. The clock doesn’t know how to run backwards. It keeps running ahead, and you need to keep running with it. Taking those decisions, whether they then make you smile or cry, embracing it all without a hint of regret, for through happiness or sadness, you took those steps yourself and on the way learnt how to run and feel alive.... :)