Turn away......I know you saw
Its quite amusing how sometimes all we have to do to feel better about something is to simply turn away. Being oblivious of it all, comfortably numb.
As waited on a red light the other day, I saw an old man sitting on the green belt on my right. His silver white beard reached for his knees, as he tightly clutched his left ankle, sliding his hands up and down his thin leg trying to relieve the pain. What kind of circumstances would have compelled a person like him to be here, at this hr? Why isn’t he home, tightly snuggled in his bed, or sitting among the warmth of his grandchildren telling them stories? I was looking right into his eyes. He was looking my way, but was blankly staring into midair. His eyes were drenched with sorrows I knew I couldn’t feel through a gaze, holding answers to my questions, answers I knew I couldn’t do anything with. He had lived his life, in the face of all it had in store for him. Maybe he needed money, I thought, as I frantically searched my bag, but only in vain. He didn’t look like a beggar. Had I even had the money, I wouldn’t have known how to give it to him, without hurting his self respect. He seemed like a traveler, on a long journey, a journey that had brought him so far out he didn’t know where he headed for. My stomach clenched as I stared into those daunting eyes, the depth of which had no bounds. Loosing myself in the air of melancholy surrounding, I quickly turned my gaze away. It was comforting, not looking at him anymore, as the traffic light turned green and my car drove past him. That’s when it pricked. Turning away wont make it go away. I might not see him, or feel him, but he still exists and so does the pain I never got to know of.
When you drive over the Jinnah flyover going from Defence to Gulberg to grab a bite off MM Alam, ever noticed the huge billboards with fancy faces painted all over them? I’m sure you have. Ever looked over on the left, at the chaarpais laid over the roofs, the cramped narrow streets, the mesh of gray moving around beneath? Very few bother to. Admiring the richly painted billboards, oozing with life and colour is so much more convenient then looking at these people below struggling in filth and sweat to put food on their tables every night. But you know what? Turning away just wont make them disappear.
Denying the existence of some things takes us further away from what we already cant understand. Well you might be helpless to it, and not be able to do anything about it, but denying is plain shameful mockery. A façade that feeds on oblivion. And oblivion on our reality. But what is real and what is illusion?
Then there are times when we are reminded that some things are better left untouched, unexplored, all layers hiding the truth in tact. We are not always as prepared for it as we may think so. Moreover it never is a one way thing. If we yearn to know, doesn’t always mean the beholder of the key wishes to unlock for us. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I of all people would know that. Do not expose yourself to the storm, for it has no heart, it just blows away with it shrouded in dust all that comes its way.
I don’t close my eyes to things I cant understand. I try and look within for traces of that which are not apparent on the surface. But when something’s held back, I just move away, but not forget. Who knows someday, someplace, someone might just have the courage and will to tell me why....
14 Comments:
Remaining in continuous denial of what is real, and considering the possibility of illusion before reality, leads one nowhere but closer to the blind end that this creates.
Its true that experience teaches one more about reality than anything, but it doesn't mean that there aren't things that can possibly be real for a change, that what you fear is not always an illusion and infact reality and that you do have a 'heart', which isn't humanly possible not to have either.
This only leads one to always remain in a state of self-questioning, so to speak, one is always confused as to what there is to believe and what not.
Belief is only possible if a little faith is invested in reality before tossing it down the illusionary cellar and ridding your life of it. There's little to be afraid of in this life, because one is always their own master, decisions are always one's own, no one can influence you to a degree where they have control over your decisions and thoughts.. thats not possible in contemporary times nor is it deemed so by God Himself.. a thorough reading of a certain passage from the Quran i'll give to you sometime, shall clear this up for you hopefully, also showing that this is more relevant to persona than difference in genders as i'm sooOo sure you're going to think miss feminist :)
Just because there's something that's not exactly under your control ever, that you "can't do anything about", doesn't mean that you're supposed to consider it unachievable, whatever it may be. That defeats your very purpose in life, atleast for a lotta people it does. One doesn't have to change the way they are because there's things in life that can't be real because they're just too stereo-typically illusionary and happen all the time, enough to be deemed insignificant. Thats not how it works ..there's a lot more everyone needs to learn about everything in life, but this life is too short to learn everything, you can only learn to a degree and acknowledge what you see if your mind, soul and heart let you.. all 3 are interdependant entities of our existence, neglecting one only makes life more difficult in terms of burdening the other. Its this balance that God's made in this human creature, we're all dependant on it, and denying it because one is afraid of what lies ahead, means there will never come a point in life where one will learn to acknowledge what they saw right and what they saw wrong.
Keep looking further.. someday you'll find reality instead of illusion, because that's what you've seen so far haven't you? Its all an illusion, everything.
Keep looking, you have your whole life ahead of you. Good luck to you my friend :)
But what is real and what is illusion?
Eight words and I get another whole eight page lecture! hahaha *sheesh*....
and you'll keep getting 'em! grrr..!!!
lol ;P
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Hahaha.
Cannot handle any criticisms can you?!
Disappointing treeeble...
You sound more grown up.
;)
Well your not quite the smartass you think you are then anonymous ...Its called ‘being nice’....But you seem to be quite the persistent one...HmmMm..alright then.
It is sometimes OK to look beyond the surface. You don’t have to scrutinize everything in search of flaws. Let’s just say the words sounded too familiar, and like I said, “Sometimes things are better left unsaid”...
However incase I am mistaken, grammar-professor-frienda-mine..
Oh I am so utterly indebted to you for your one worded suggestion ;P Maybe if next time you put your name up there too, we could sit and ponder over the “of” and “from”s of the coloniser’s language haha
You know I couldn't help but notice the rather vain nature of your subtle (and too-wannabe-slick-to-sound-mean-but-actually-obnoxious)suggestions... that your 'silly friend' is some teeny bopping naivette...
You sound like you need a LOT of
attention.
(try to get some from your mother, Hun)
:)
*aaaOOOO..
*rrRRRR
Mymy
The cub is gaurded by a Ferocious Cat...interesting.
Apologies to anyone who has secured such loyalty from a bam-wham-outta-myway-heartpacer.
And good point chants. My mother never loved me too much...
Care to makeup for it?
whoaa!
OK.. duude! haha whatever overly distraught perceptions of having yourself heard or whatever it is you're trying to do here, this is hardly the place to be going about dilly dallying slick commentary lol
So friendly advice as any other random observer would throw back would be to actually listen to all the 'ferocious cats' and mean dogs you encounter when you go about making public displays of stupidity and not make a mockery out of yourself.
Its a blog!! a blog damnit! hahah and it was a meaningful post to say the least and not cheap rhetoric as i see is your! apparent fancy hahaha.. so chill! go play with your toys bob.
*Smiles* haha ;P
Nice try Fewwl. Well, atleast the mystery is solved.
:p
just a point to anonymous:
it's 'guarded', not 'gaurded'.
once again, force of habit. carry on children :)
*cheers!* ....hahaha
Hey! :D
Thanx for the good luck message... you know, I have a feeling I should know who you are... do I?
Ofcourse I know who you are! I didnt know you were a blogger is all! :P
Hello :)
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